My world feels like it’s been upended, but it also hasn’t. Personal loss and conflict aside, I’ve been having an interior debate about where to take the work next. Trying to make a plan, when… it’s better to look at it like a journey to destinations unknown.

Much of my worry comes from the world, the current political climate (shouldn’t I be more political?) to the market (people tend to purchase icons they know, popular figures and clever mashups of their favorite stories and shows, shouldn’tI hop on that?) to the work I find myself making instead. I read articles and think about my own experience on how the fine art market is changing  and I envy a little my commercial minded brethren.  I think about at the upper levels the deck is stacked and I think about… well, ask myself what am I really trying to say.

Art, the reason why I make it is about a conversation with the world. I’m aware how cheesy that sounds, but at the same time… I listen to people, who do as we all do, sweat the negative big and small. The work I do has always been about trying to raise people up, to let you know it’s ok to be who you are, because look at these people, they’re alright. and you’re gonna be alright too. I’ve been focusing on women because I hear and understand their insecurities the most.

and… I don’t think that’s enough.

I find over and over that people don’t seem to get what I’m doing, which is my fault. I don’t like to be heavy handed, but also maybe I’m just thinking about all of this in the wrong way. What I find is that people don’t connect, they see what they interpret as ‘woman as object’… mostly. Especially if the viewer is a man. I don’t get upset or blame them for that interpretation, after all in the western tradition women as object is the norm. Also I’m honestly bored with my own subject matter. So, what I’ve been chewing on is ‘how can I make the work exciting to me (and hopefully others) again. How and where can I push myself? and… can I show it?

The last part is because I’ve been doing nudes lately. The climate right now is especially conservative. There’s a market for nudes still sure, but… well, I gotta figure out my market (thats another problem). It’s definitely not local. People here aren’t interested in the work I do here, not enough for me to sell it anyway, and not at the prices that would make it viable. I even question whether I should even bother trying to push the art as a source of income at all. If I remove that pressure, it gives me a lot more freedom. Besides, it’s not like catering to the market helps anyway, and it’s not like I have ever relied on the work being a source of my income. So why stress about this?

So to combat all of this, I’m starting to record my process. I’m working on the third and final video of the first painting now. I had to take a break because I was traveling a bit and now my neighbors are being noisy as feck. I’m still figuring out my process with that… but the documentation is fun. It’s something to play with, hopefully people will like it. Videos of part 1 and two of an acrylic study below if you’re curious. I’ll get part 3 out soon (like follow subscribe whatever)

anyway. After dealing with the death of my dad and other personal matters, I would like to find a way to engage with the world more actively. See what happens. See who I meet, see what will become of everything.