I awoke a few mornings ago, and I knew exactly what I needed to do. Well kinda what I needed to do. Ok, more of the flavor of what I need to do for the next body of work.
When I have an idea for a work, I do have a ‘plan’, I know the palate and what I want the figures to do but the interesting bits come out in the process itself. Sometimes the work tells me it needs something else that will connect better. Art for me is a practice in becoming what it is. What I -really- need to say, or what the work needs to say to me. It’s terribly nebulous, the work, my mind and how I think. I wish I had more of the gift of Apollo in me to help me be more logical and clearheaded and that my penal gland was more on point.

But we must work with the tools we are given.

I keep going back to certain ideas, and we should always be mindful of our own patterns I think. If there’s something we keep going back to or a behavior we repeat or the kind of relationships we experience have the same overtones, something is going on there. Something we haven’t figured out yet and need to learn. If it’s toxic the lesson usually is ‘maybe stop doing that shit’. However I don’t think that’s the case with the work, but I don’t quite know why I continue to explore portraiture, mythology, sensuality, etc. I just know I don’t go far enough.

So I woke up realizing that’s one of the directions I must push myself. I’ve been doing a lot of digital work, for clients and myself. There are aspects of working in that way I find interesting and I should go farther with it in a fine art sense. I don’t know if it’ll be taken seriously, but I don’t know if it matters right now. I do have to go back to acrylic painting. And I need to actively get outside of my head more often and find new stimulus. Basically find a new obsession that I can shove my face into.

I’ve been thinking about iconography, both within religion and with our idols of today within our culture. Where we take people who do work we admire and make them into near mythological figures in our head. I suppose the issue I run into is I don’t like my own work to use the images of famous folk. It’s an easy way to get eyes, but… I don’t have that connection with those kinds of idols, for me to do that work would be almost a cop-out. Other people are more into that and more successful than I.

So, looking for the next thing. Don’t know where to look, or who to talk to about it. Maybe I need to go on a road trip. Maybe I need to hang out in seedy bars, or join a cult, or form a cult that meets in a seedy bar. I want to get excited about my own work again… and there’s no one answer or clear path on how to do that. Just listen, talk, watch, absorb, until the YES is found.

This is the music I’ve been listening to lately. With regards to music, I listen to all kinds, classic jazz, house, alternative, hip hop, blue grass, world, old stuff, new stuff, all kinds of stuff. Sometimes I listen to the pagan-hippy stuff, which I kinda like but I am willing to bet money a good portion of my friends find this awful. I find the lyrics sometimes unpredictable, and that helps me think.

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