Welcome to May, and Spring, and all that it brings.

I’ve been plugging away in the studio. If I were to use an overly theatrical metaphor I feel a bit like Mary Lennox in Secret Garden, tending to the things I’m nurturing privately. I feel right now it’s best to wait on sharing bigger work that I’ve been rutting into. Partly because I think when an artist shares half finished work the audience will view it as complete no matter what the artist says (because they can’t imagine the artist’s vision/creative path), and partly because I’m still… trying to answer some questions for myself.

Creatively I’m looking for something. Like… trying to fuse my literal observant nature with absurdity, my maladaptive dreaming, and break away my internal constructs to find… what I can best put as ‘the heart of the matter’ (what the matter is…. eh depends on the work). Each artist has to find their own way, and their own method as we are really good in letting ourselves get in our own way. An easy way for layfolk to understand is via this quote:

“It took me four years to paint like Raphael, but a lifetime to paint like a child.” -Picasso

I don’t aim to paint like a child, but I am working to trust myself. I feel like a person well versed in the language, but knowing how to speak doesn’t mean you know what to say.

This is why I’ve been doing what I personally think of as ‘exercises’. Observational drawing and painting, which is an enjoyable exercise. You can say a lot this way. I know and admire many that very literate in that language, and once it was my goal to be as real as possible. However I started breaking from that a long time ago, and while I waffle… I think more can be said with surrealism and breaking expectations, although I am not sure my work is there yet. I need to do better.

So I started doing some recording of me working at my drawing table. Painting takes time, but the table work tends to go much quicker. I’m starting to make use of my small surfaces I’ve collected, and because I need to be better at engaging with the world I think this is a way to do it that would be interesting for me. So far I’ve just put out a couple time lapses (as seen below

The music I mixed myself on GarageBand to avoid copyright… which is fun but time consuming. Also I think just watching someone work is not all that interesting. Some of my friends seem to like it but… yeah I don’t think this is enough. There’s this new (to me) trend of ‘Storytime videos’ that some artists have been putting out on the youtube which strikes me as more interesting as a concept. Where people talk over themselves working and share… whatever. I like this idea as a way to engage the audience. However as with all new things the hardest bit is just getting started. I’m good at stories and ranting when I get going… the trick is to get myself going. I have some ideas about that, but if you are reading this and are interested in hearing me riff on a topic, leave a comment below and I’ll give it my consideration.

If you’re inclined, follow me on the youtube, or stick around here. I’ll be sharing videos here of course. I’m considering unlocking my Patreon to allow for early access, but I want to get into a rhythm and generate some interest before applying that business.