About what… a week ago, I sketched out a friend for one of the larger (for me) oil paintings that I’ve done in a while. Sketch was done live (as is proper, always better to start these live) then photos were taken so I can finish back at my studio.

Some of you might know this, but for most of my paintings I haven’t used a model. I do use references, often a mash of people, changing color or facial features so the source is unidentifiable. This isn’t working for me anymore though. The advantage of making people up is I can just get to work, but more and more lately I find I need outside of my echo chamber head. Because of dealing with a very depressed mood for over a year I haven’t been getting out or being as adventurous as I once was, as I was reminded by a fb post asking about stuff you’ve done that others likely haven’t (which for me is quite a bit according to friends). I forget sometimes, who I was, who I am, and let the anxiety get to me.

So yah, I’m hoping to have this completed in the next couple of weeks so I can enter it into the Dark Love show at the Vanderelli Room in February. Drying time between sessions is crucial for how I work because I do a lot of glazing, so we shall see how that goes.

Painting is so much different than digital work. I can just forget the world and focus on problem solving the color and the line. I’ve been questioning many things lately. My place, what I am doing, what I should be doing, if I’m able to rise or an I trapped. I question if I’m one of those folks who just thinks they’re good, and then I think about old dead artists who would bemoan their own work, saying maybe they would become decent painters when they hit 90.

I do my best to take self doubt in stride really, because in the end it’s irrelevant. Feelings aren’t facts, and if I let them rule I wont make anything and won’t get better, proving them correct. Sticking this disclaimer in here just to say ‘don’t take me too seriously’, and if you’re a creative, maybe don’t take yourselves too seriously either.

Anyway, I feel this is a good direction, the live model thing. Still slipping in allegory though, just to make it interesting for me. Trick is I’m not in the position to pay models what they should be paid, so that may lead me down different rabbit holes. I dunno, we shall see how that goes. Maybe I should move away from the figure, even though apparently the lady paintings I do are what people like the most (and it’s what I like to do).

So yeah, I’m still working out how to change it up for myself. I am hunting for some radical new job or thing or something to inject some new air into my well worn metaphorical tires.

I’ll post pictures when the new batch of work starts to be done. No more in process shots without completed work.

Have a good week.